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LEO
(July 24 - August 23)
Have you figured out yet that i am NEVER going to talk
to you again? Ever.
VIRGO
(August 24 - September.23)
Fall in love with the writer, not his writing.
LIBRA (September.
24 - October. 23)
Be very careful who you hire to be your lawyer.
SCORPIO (October
24 - November 22)
Again – smart, sexy, talented – you can do
no wrong.
SAGITTARIUS
(November 23 - December 21)
The L.A. music scene sucks. It’s about time
you came to terms with that.
CAPRICORN
(December 22 - January 20)
You’re a dancer, A romancer, You’re a Capricorn,
she’s a Cancer…
AQUARIUS
(January 21 - February 19)
Remind me again - why do you deserve a Whore O Scope
this week?
PISCES (February
20 - March 20)
Wanna get together next weekend and smoke crack with
me in a Hollywood motel room bathtub?
ARIES
(March 21 - April 20)
You are wise beyond your years. You remind me so
much of myself.
TAURUS (April
21 - May 21)
The pen is mightier than the sword, and you have neither.
GEMINI (May
22 - June 21)
God, I love the fact that we reach a far larger audience
than you!
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