Pure
ruckus. It’s the only way to truly define the Los
Angeles based 'Rap Bastardz.' I first became aware of
the group one night when I was in a local nudie bar, Cheetahs.
It was there that one of the dancers told me “You
just have to meet Jesus H. Christ.” I asked myself
“Why not? What journalist wouldn’t want the
opportunity to meet Jesus?” I soon found out this
guy wasn't your typical robe and sandal wearing bible-toter.
Jesus introduced himself and gave me a Rap Bastardz CD.
On my drive home that night, I was let in on the joke.
Art Thou A
Rap Bastard?
Jesus
H. Christ, Soup2Nutz, the Grimm Reefer and their ever-faithful
fall guy, Flossy B are equal opportunity offenders. Their
song titles say it all: Love for the Tardz, Wheelchair
Ho, Kids Don’t Smoke (enough weed), Prostitute Death
Match… I think you get the idea.
'We Ho's Love
Dem Rap Bastardz!'
Some
folks in the entertainment industry are getting the idea
too. An executive producer from MTV approached the Rap
Bastardz to fully fund, produce and direct a video for
their single, Hookers and Blow. I took the opportunity
to visit the set.
'Yo 'Dos Rap
Bastardz Is Tight!!'
The
location was at the American Idol mansion in Malibu. I
was stuck in the crew parking lot for quite a while waiting
for a shuttle to the mansion. In true Bastard form the
guys had commandeered the production’s shuttle.
The van barrelled into the crew parking lot and the first
thing I noticed as I climbed into the van was the over-powering
stench of beer and dank weed. Soup2Nut was at the wheel
and all of the Bastardz joked that my first experience
hanging with them was in a stolen van. Publicity Whore
involved in a grand theft auto? I guess any press is good
press.
'Yo
Dogg - Do I Sniff It Or Snort It?'
The
rest of the night was all about Hookers and Blow, the
video that is. The concept of the video is that the Rap
Bastardz have blown their record advance on bad jewelry
and cars and in lieu of a video budget, the Bastardz must
infiltrate pop music video shoots all over Los Angeles.
That night was the Usher/P. Diddy “I Need A Girl”
video and The Bastardz were performing their song in the
middle of a party flanked by Usher and dozens of booty
girls. After the first playback everyone was hoisting
drinks in the air and shouting the chorus “Hookers
and Blow! Hookers and Blow!” The Bastardz assure
me the song isn’t to be taken literally but I think
that’s merely their legal disclaimer.
'Yo Nelly - You Down Wit Da Rap Bastardz?'
Incriminating
evidence is displayed all over their web site. On it they
blatantly beg for donations and make shelling out your
dollars easy with direct links to PayPal. They’re
not completely selfish though. Donations can also be made
to the Rap Bastardz charity of choice, “The March
of Dimebags” (A charity designed to buy pot for
underprivileged kids.) See, they do have big hearts after
all. Other pop-up ads on the site ask for donations for
“bail fund” and “hooker money.”
Hey, at least they’re honest about it. You can also
buy CD’s, shirts, towels and “used porn.”
Down With Helping Ho's
Everywhere
To Experience The
Rap Bastardz
Live - Check 'em Out
@
The Joint
8771 Pico Boulevard
November 9
Wanna
Contact The Rap Bastardz?
E-mail the Savior of Bad Behavior directly at Jesus@publicitywhore.com
or visit
http://www.rapbastardz.com
Coming Soon
To A Ghetto Near You!!
Know
of a band we should
feature in Publicity Whore?
