Since
the average Publicity Whore reader
is always looking for new and exciting dancers to
frolic around with, we are proud to present one
of our very favorites - Heather Laser.
And
since Heather took us seriously enough to honestly
answer our questions, we've taken it upon ourselves
to provide a key - a translation, if you will, for
what we at Publicity Whore speculate
her answers might really be. So here we go...
P.W:
So how'd you get started?
Heather: As a kid, I ruined our Beta machine by
over-playing 'Footloose' and 'Flashdance.' I finally
made my mom put me in dance class when I was 12.
I fell in love from the very beginning, and knew
I'd make it my career.
[translation:
I started legit dancing about a year ago - when
my stripping career fizzled out]
PW: What advice can you offer to someone starting
out in the performing arts world? What do's and
dont's are a must?
Heather: First and foremost: know who you are and
believe in your own talent. In this industry, you
determine your own worth - so keep an open mind.
Stay updated on what's out there, and make connections
with as many people as possible. You never know
where your next job will come from. Don't take anything
personally. Don't be scared to show people who you
are, or to go after what you want.
[translation:
Start sucking dick now. You all will eventually
have to, so you may as well get to it]
P.W: Who has been your biggest mentor/role model
as you've pursued your career?
Heather: Three come to mind: Eddie Garcia, Andre
Fuentes, and Brian Freedman.
[translation: Traci Lords
- the way she's always been a true artist with integrity]
P.W: What has been your biggest obstacle that you've
had to overcome?
Heather:
My own self-doubt and need for reassurance. As soon
as I stopped caring about what others thought, I
started working. I could show I had something kick-ass
to offer.
[translation:
holding myself up on the stripper pole using only
my legs]
P.W:
If you could be on tour dancing with any production,including
bands on tour - who would it be and why?
Heather: Until the Chili Peppers use dancers on
tour, I'll say Britney Spears. I'd then be working
with the best of the best. Wade Robson, Brian, Andre,etc.
[translation:
I've always wanted to fuck Anthony Keidis]
P.W:
What can someone do to stand out and get noticed
in your industry?
Heather: They have to have a combination of a great
look, and the ability to make any step look good.
[translation:
see previous dick sucking advice]
P.W:
If you weren't dancing, what would you be doing?
Heather: I'd be either singing in a band (any musicians
out there???) or acting. I have to be on stage.
[translation:
Me! Me! Look at ME!]
P.W:
What the hell is a choreographer, anyway?
Heather:
Someone who steals steps from previous choreographers
and puts them together creatively to make dancers
look good.
[translation:
the choreographer owns the casting couch]
P.W: What organizations exist that can help a dancer
succeed in the business?
Heather: Other than the dance agencies, Back Stage
West and Dance Magazine. Also dancers help other
dancers.
P.W:
Do you think events like Carnival offer dancers
a powerful exposure vehicle?
Heather: Carnival is the best thing for dancers.
It offers anyone who wants to choreograph a chance
to get seen by the top agents and musicians in the
business.
[translation: Fucking your way to the top starts
with Carnival]
P.W: When you see Christina Aguilera using a racy
sex image to promote her career - does this help
other dancers, hurt other dancers, or not really
make a big difference?
Heather:
Sex sells. Good for dancers.
[translation:
We're sluts. We exploit that]
P.W: What's the trashiest thing you've done for
a gig?
Heather: This interview.
[translation:
This interview]
P.W:
What do you think of those crazy freedom fighting
journalists at Publicity Whore Magazine?
Heather: I'd fuck 'em
[translation:
Already have - and Harry Turtleneck's the best]
If
you are a struggling dancer or just tired of having
dollar bills rammed down your crotch at the titty-bar
check out:
www.dancemagazine.com
