Usually the Prick of the Week title is reserved for some incredibly annoying, albeit harmless celebrity. They usually earn the title by a lifetime of self-importance and other retarded behavior, all played out in broad daylight - making it impossible for me to ignore. Then, as much I don’t want to, I am forced to take up pen and paper to vent. Today, however, I can’t really capture the state of mind I need in order to write. The spoiled, arrogant 26-year old know-it-all in me has writer’s block. I’ve basically spent the last day and a half watching CNN, shaking my head and saying ‘fuck.’

But life goes on, and I have writing to do – so I had to come up with something. That stated – who is most deserving right now? Certainly some celebrity can’t win – they don’t even count. Tommy Lee’s penis is definitely impressive, but even THAT pales in comparison. Some six-named terrorist in the Middle East can’t win, ’cause we can’t prove he even did it. Besides - who am I to have a political opinion – I’ve never even voted. Well – I did vote for the Smashing Pumpkins as ‘Artist of the Year’ in the 1993 Rolling Stone Reader’s Poll, but that doesn’t really count.

So I turned on Howard Stern for inspirado. As predicted, he summed it up perfectly: We are part of a long tradition of turning the other cheek to this crap. When terrorists started pulling huge stunts, we should’ve called down the fire and brimstone immediately. Blew the fuck out of anyone and everyone involved without batting an eye. But we didn’t. In 1972, Terrorists invaded camps housing Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics. They were all killed, and no one did shit about it. The Olympics continued as planned, Nixon didn’t make it a priority, and the dust eventually settled. In hindsight we fucked up.

So I started to think about what Michael Corleone did at the end of the Godfather. After his father had been shot, he hung back and assessed the damage. Ok – he wasn’t killed, but they fucked him up pretty good (America wasn’t killed, but they fucked us up pretty good). Then he figured out who on the outside did it (We know someone on the outside did it). Then he figured out who on the inside helped (don’t be surprised when they reveal help from the inside). These sides will present themselves, ‘cause they always do. And then after all the facts have been reviewed, call down the fucking thunder. After Michael killed the heads of all the other families – he sent out a loud message: fuck with me and you’re history.

So far, America has not done enough to back that up. We’ve been the big kid on a playground who lets some little shit spit on us without retaliation. Over and over, day after day – we ignore the spit in favor of the greater peace. But what would happen if – just once, we swung as hard as we could and knocked that little shit out cold? Just leveled him so hard it took a fleet of paramedics to scrape ‘em off the ground? Do you think they’d jump right back up and try it again? Let ‘em. We’ll just hit ‘em again - even harder. The math dictates that over a long enough timeline – the bigger force will win. We have the bigger force. I don’t think anyone will disagree we now have the responsibility to use it.

I’m not some warmonger or anything. I just want to go back to being a selfish smart-ass punk who writes articles ripping on dick head celebrities. Bombing my country puts this plan into serious jeopardy – and this pisses me off.

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